Dhaka Day 7 & 8: Loss & Love, Ease & Joy
An intense two days of NZ and Bangladesh experiences. Delights and sorrows. Learnings and changes for the future. As always, surrounded by wonderful people.
We Knew It Was Possible, Maybe Even Likely
Our family cat, Sam, had been becoming more and more elderly these past few months. Each time Lucy left to head off on her overseas adventures she'd say a big goodbye to Sam and half expect not to see her again. Well, as it turned out Lucy was at home and holding the lion's share of the Sam-care while I was away in Bangladesh. I spent a fairly sleepless and contented night cuddled up to Sam and patting her throughout my last night in NZ, before leaving to come over here. Then earlier this week, the family reported that she had thrown up and had stopped eating. Oh dear.
The Wonders of Modern Technology
Coverage, and therefore connection with my family, had been a bit hit and miss. While I was travelling to and fro and whenever not at the guest house I pretty much had no way to keep in touch with how things were going at home. I'd been having trouble with wifi even when I WAS at my guest house.
So it was extraordinarily well-timed that on the drive out to a village resort with the team Ahmed gave me an extra phone that I could tether to.
I immediately checked in with the Sam-situation and was informed she was being taken to the Vet shortly. Once there I got a call from amazing Lucy who kept me on video as people were called and arrived, and the proceedings were laid out for Sammy's final breaths. The Vet had recommended she not be given new medication nor be taken home. Instead, all needed to gather and farewell our delightful pet of nearly 17 years.
Amazingly, the cell data held and I was able to stay on the phone, weeping along with the family as I watched the Vet very gently and respectfully administer the lethal dose to our darling cat, as she lay all snuggled up and sedated. So so hard, and also so good to be part of, in that moment.
Emotions & Experiences
As I came out of the sad haze of parting with dear Sam, I realised how focused on that cocktail of emotions I had been. And how much I had missed outside the bubble of my family experience. It's truly amazing how the whole world can shrink to nothing when I pour all of my attention in one direction, combined with deep emotions. My "truths" in those moments will be very different to "truths" when I am aware and open to all that is.
That's the trouble with "truths" as we often use them - they are always only a portion of the whole picture.
While deeply immersed in my family's loss, I completely missed the highly interesting drive through outskirts of Dhaka, tiny winding, stall-lined streets and so many interesting people, and rice paddies (which I've now discovered is slightly incorrect - the paddy is the rice plant and when it is mature the single kernel in each paddy plant is the rice). I'd never seen these before so on the early morning walk (day 8) I enjoyed gazing at them.
Village sunrise about 30km out of Dhaka. Looking over rice/paddy fields.
Early morning walk. Met some villagers who've been off and done their morning exercises - it was only about 5:30am. They rise with the sun.
This path to the left ahead led to the village. We didn't go there. Apparently subsistence life is better in the countryside but more money to be made in the cities. It's about half/half of popn.
Villagers having a break from early morning work, gazing over rice/paddy fields. Dhaka City is in the far background, hard to see with morning haze.
Another amazing sunrise view on our way back to the resort
Some of the resort buildings were truly impressive. The lake looked lovely day and night (when coloured bulb lights twinkled on the surface)
This is an example of a traditional village house - I'd say it is a fairly well off family who would live here. Gorgeous!
Pretending we are princesses off to the ball. Fun photo with Sabina (WSDA super organiser of all of us)
"I can do hard things."
I feel that the universe has really tried to test me on that statement over the past week!
Honoured Guests
I forgot to mention, in the haze of Sam passing and queasy tummies...
Before we travelled out to the country, we met the Bangladesh Honorary Consul to NZ and had a delightful "tea" in his amazing house.
WSDA & I are hoping to partner with him in a new Parenting training venture in Bangladesh...!
PRA - Recipe for Making the Most of Being Human
By Day 8 I'm still feeling queasy and "a bit off". Some last remedies have been thrust at me. Now I just need to get well. We've got 5 days of full days workshopping with 3 groups a day.
To ensure I can get through this time in more or less one piece, I will:
- Belly-breathe as slowly and deeply into my abdomen as possible, whenever I think about it. We will also be teaching the groups we are working with this strategy for self-regulation. Taking this few seconds to do this well, gives the brain valuable information - I am not in imminent danger of death. It is fine to go into a relaxed state, and allow my body muscles etc. let go. This also brings me into the present moment in my body and in my surroundings.
- Am I Present? Breathe
- Do a body scan of all parts of my body and let any tension be released. No need to wonder why I'm holding muscles tight, just instruct my body to "release. Relax"
- Am I Relaxed? Let Go
- Notice what emotions I'm feeling, blocking, avoiding. Create space for all of them to sit at my table, flow through my body, until they are done. Name them if need be, else just feel them without judgement.
- Am I Allowing All Emotions? Feel
I Can Do Hard Things ... With Ease & Joy
I have 10 more days here in Dhaka, Bangladesh, working with the WSDA team on whatever projects they are needing me to support with training, networking, "smiling sweetly and showing great interest" or other skills. I know this is an important tour for them, and I have much to gain from diving into these adventures, moment to moment.
I often say to my girls: "You can do hard things." I say it to myself regularly too. I've decided to change it though as I feel that the universe has really tried to test me on that statement over the past week!
So the new version is: "I love how my life is filled with ease and joy" or "I can do hard things with ease and joy". Either way, lots of ease and joy to come :).
Sarah Amy Glensor Best
kiaora@sarahamy.nz
+64 21 1174 899
© Copyright 2024 Sarah Amy Glensor Best | All Rights Reserved
Sarah Amy Glensor Best
kiaora@sarahamy.nz
+64 21 1174 899
© Copyright 2024 Sarah Amy Glensor Best | All Rights Reserved
